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ASK Dr. RICH!
Rich Simons | 11th Street

 

 
Photo illustration Art Olson

Q: The whole town seems to be “all atwitter” over the plans being made to shrink Camino Del Mar into one cart-width (as you have put it) each way. Apparently part of the idea is to mitigate the effect of through traffic on our village. Isn’t there some other way of accomplishing this? - j.y.

Of course! A number of committees appointed by the city in the past have made excellent recommendations, and it appears this may be a good time to review them:

1) The Fleur de Lis - In this plan traffic on Del Mar Heights Road (aka 4th St.) is one-way only, coming into town. Camino Del Mar from 4th Street south is one-way south (i.e. – OUT of town), and from 4th Street north it is ALSO one-way, OUT of town. This eliminates that pesky “through traffic” on Olde Hiway 101, the voyeurs and looky-loos; goodbye to the weekend curse: ”Hey, Ralphie, let’s go crank up the ol’ Corvette, go cruisin’ through Del Mar, hang out at the light at 15th, lay some rubber, pick up some chicks.”

2) Inverse Fleur de Lis - Same as above, but traffic enters from the north and south, exiting to the east. Has the additional benefit that Del Mar Heights is flooded with lost tourists in wet bathing suits carrying buckets of sand.

3) Exploding Star - ALL roads are one-way, OUT of town (aka the “Thomas Wolfe Solution”, i.e. – you can’t go home again). Eventually solves the problem by attrition. In the end there are no cars in Del Mar and Olde Hiway 101 can be planted with either poppies or hi-rise condominiums, depending upon who controls City Hall at the time.

4) Bye-Bye Bridges - Our most draconian solution. We dynamite the bridges on the north and south ends of town, as well as Del Mar Heights Road and Carmel Valley Road. San Dieguito lagoon is dredged to create a seaport. Ferry service is initiated to San Diego and Oceanside, and in 2021 we host the America’s Cup.

5) The Mole - You’ve heard of this one. Along with the railroad, Camino Del Mar is relegated to a tunnel between Solana Beach and Los Penasquitos lagoon. The present right-of-way becomes a pedestrian promenade/bicycle path stretching out beneath a leafy bower. The traffic lights at 15th and CDM are donated to the Del Mar Historical Society.

No doubt you have your own solutions to the traffic problem here in our little village. If so, the people down at City Hall are eager to hear from you. Volunteers are desperately needed for the next COMMITTEE.

 

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