Rich Simons | 11th Street
Rich Simons answers
most perplexing questions.
Cartoon Art Olson
||Q: Why don’t we have stret lites in Del Mar? I often get lost truying to get home at nite. - b.e.
If you weren’t plastered at “nite,” you might also have noticed that we don’t have sidewalks along the “stret” to guide you home. This is in line with the City’s plan to encourage greater activity in our commercial sector. Don’t tell me you have never noticed, stumbling around downtown, that there - in the retail sector - the sidewalks are ample and the lights positively brilliant? Kinda make ya wanta stroll around? My point is: what is the point of a “pedestrian atmosphere” if there are no pedestrians? That’s where you come in. The City Fathers hope that you will visit often, dine early and dine late, and in between maybe mosey around and buy a frock or a book or a trilobite.
Then when your credit card is maxed out and you are “truying to get home,” remember that our cabbies could also use your patronage.
Q: What is the maximum width of I-5? - c.n.
Fortunately, nature has helped provide part of the answer to this important question. You may have noticed that blue mass to the west of us (you know - where the sun goes down?) That’s an ocean, i.e. – water! As luck would have it, it’s really hard to pave that stuff. On the other hand, if we go far enough to the east we encounter I-15, at which point I-5 must cease to exist. Voila!
According to my calculations, this will provide enough space for 35 lanes in each direction, plus a generous median strip for pedicabs. That should take care of all our transportation needs until about 2025.
Q: Does Del Mar have a car burglary problem? – m.g.
Wow! Does it ever! For weeks now I have left my SUV (the one that didn’t pass smog) out front on the street with the keys in the ignition. And . . . nothing! What’s a guy gotta do? Hang a sign on it?: “Available for joy riding. Don’t bother to return!”
Q: Where are Del Mar’s cops? - j.k.
Del Mar’s cops always work undercover, often masquerading as Sheriff’s Deputies. They can generally be found, day or night, parked in front of V-G’s Donuts in Cardiff-by-the-Sea.